Wearied In Vain

Yesterday I was particularly weary, maybe not in a physical sense, but particularly weary in my soul. As the day began with such low emotional capacity, I sat for a while trying to find some motivation or energy but instead a picture came to mind, and grew more detailed and delightful, of being invited to spend the day in a royal bed, sleeping and resting. Ah, just in writing it down, my soul and even my tensed shoulders, relax a degree. The bed was an iron canopy with fluffiness for a mattress and blanket and all was white. I can see it now, dreamy as it was, though a day after a weary labor, it seems more like the dream that I fell out of and now wish to return to.

I have heard that if you build against the blue print, you build in vain. Certainly I understand that today, where hindsight is clear and discerning. Not that anyone would have discouraged my "good" labor yesterday, being productive in the lowest sense of the word...ah, but it was labor that only further wearied my soul and today I awoke feeling utterly spent and frazzled without even the comfort of having labored to an intended purpose. I am sorry. How can it be made right today?

There is a mercy that is made new as the new day is born and here I am asking for it. Mercy that forgives and gives even a double portion, that does more than make up for the dept I incurred in the day lost. It is possible to receive more than just to "catch up." I am deeply in debt and I need an extra portion today. And I know Who gives extra portions. I'm glad to know him.