Tonight, I had a victory and it came in a rather unusual form. A bicycle.
For years, I have wanted to buy a bicycle. I've known exactly what I wanted and being rather off the beaten path of bicycle retail, I expected I'd have to pay more for what I wanted. So I've waited until now. A generous monetary birthday gift led me to the bicycle store and I was elated to find almost exactly what I wanted on a great sale. I was still hesitant to commit, leery of an impulse purchase but the sales person assured me I could return it if not 100% satisfied. The handle bars were not quite what I wanted but exactly what I wanted didn't seem to exist so I took the sale and brought it home. A few weeks later I realized the same bicycle came in a ladies ame so I exchanged it. I still didn't quite like the handle bars. In comes my resistance training.
I talk to the bike guy who convinces me that my handle bars just need to be adjusted and they may suite me better. The adjustment helps. It's still not quite right. I talk to 3 different sales people (during 3 trips to the store), tell them exactly what I want and get their recommendations. I finally order new handle bars that take twice as long to arrive as they tell me. New handle bars?? Well, they are almost exactly like the old ones and I'm certain they won't help. I'm so discouraged that I don't even let them put on the new bars (which they would have done for free). They say they won't let me return them because they were a special order. I felt like I had communicated so clearly what I wanted! Later in the day, I call the store and kindly ask to be allowed to return them. They guy I talk to was one of the ones who gave me the recommendation and he says he really thinks they will help if I'll just come in and let them change the bars. I feel like a puppet being jerked around on strings. Still frustrated, I go to another bike store that will allow special order returns if I'm not satisfied. I communicate even more clearly what I want and even draw a picture (I actually had a dream about the kind I wanted). They look at me kind of funny and I can tell the guy thinks this is not going to work but at least he doesn't say anything and orders them anyway.
The (second) new handle bars arrive. Exactly what I want. However they will charge a good bit to put them on so I take them back to the first store thinking it possible they will still put them on for free, especially as I am a frustrated customer at this point and could use some encouragement to ever frequent their shop again! Oh, not so. First of all, they won't put them on for free. And now some serious resistance. The sales manager (well, he at least seemed to be in charge of things) kept trying to "help" me. I explained the problem I had with the initial bars, and with the first replacement. He spent a good 10 minutes telling me he didn't understand why I had trouble with the first bars. I told him that I didn't either but I was open to suggestions on how to fix it. He again tells me he doesn't understand why I am having a problem and all the reasons why my new replacement bars won't work. He does at least agree to let me return the first special order but reiterates all the problems I will have with the new bars. He is exasperated with my problem and maybe also with me. Again discouraged, I leave the store, feeling rather like a picky brat, an idiot and generally thoroughly doubting myself.
I don't even take the bike out of my car for several days. I'm sure I'm chasing a fruitless fancy and I just need to try and enjoy what I have. Finally my dad puts on the new bars. Guess what? They are perfect. They are exactly what I want. The bike is not of a cookie cutter variety but guess what? I don't care one bit. I will still have to pay to have the gears and cables changed over but after almost a dozen trips to bike stores, lugging the bike in and out of my SUV, combatting many well meaning but unhelpful sales people and paying more than I thought I would with my on-sale purchase, I will have exactly what I want. And dang it, it was worth the fight.
I think once it's all said and done, I will pay in dollars about what I originally expected but it will have cost me much more in emotional energy and much more in time. In the end, I will actually enjoy my purchase.
In the end, I will enjoy my life. I will enjoy my bicycle. I will enjoy giving expression to my funny quirks and I will enjoy my un-cookie cutter nature. It will take time and maybe more energy than I want to spend but it will be worth standing up for.
