Oh Imaginations!

(Deep sigh) Oh my imaginations! They are strong uninhabited things you know and while I know they are meant to lift my sights and spirit, it is true that sometimes they cause more sting than they seem to make up for. It is the lapse between the dirty carpet I walk on and the sparkling clean, thoughtfully decorated almost palace of my imagination that causes such sting. I can ... well, right now, sigh, it does not seem to matter than it is beautiful and fascinating and deeply welcoming in my mind's eye while there is a pile of unmatched socks and clothes to be folded and put away staring me in the face.

Today I am imagining, even in a more humble house, a housekeeper; sweet girl of eighteen or twenty, needing a job and place to stay. She lives with us all the time and puts in her set, boundaried hours (it would not do to have her work all the time, simply would not do at all), doing the things that delight me but that I do not as regularly find the energy for. Oh, what a delightful idea! Yes, she may be a college student that we know in need of provision. And as a side note, I have decided to sometimes pray for provision instead of praying for a job, because, well, why not! I am romantically convinced that there is an inheritance for me, floating around out there, waiting for the perfect time to reveal itself, an inheritance which I shall steward in the fear and joy of the Lord, mostly in and unto Joy.

But back to our housekeeper, oh, what a delightful idea! So, she (and I'm pretty sure it must be a "she") would have her own lovely room and bathroom too if possible. I would not go in her room unless invited, it would really be her own space to find sanctuary in. The whole idea must be a provision for her and hopefully for her delight as well. She would work a set number of hours, just as she would with any job. We would pay her quite well, certainly better than a coffee shop or day care or other college type job. We would consider the cost of her food, rent and utilities and she would work how ever many hours unto those costs and any other work she would be paid out. In today's market, I think $12-$15 an hour would be generous but time shall tell. Only it would not do if in her heart, she considered working for her room and board to be shameful or beneath her. And this is the trouble; I'm afraid most that I know would consider it just that! The other trouble is wondering how I would ever find peace with myself to let someone else do such for me. What if, for example, one day I felt particularly possessed to stay in bed and write, drinking coffee and eating sweets, while said housekeeper is working? Would I feel terribly guilty? Oh and the girl she would have to be to live with us!

So in my imagination, she is sweet and kind, thoughtful and thorough. She must not begrudge me my sensibilities and strange thoughts but we shall both give freedom to each other to live as we sense best. It could be possible that we should be friends, if such was convenient to each one. I would have to trust her a great deal and I suppose we would have a trial period first to see if we should suit one another. Only it must, must, must not be a drudgery to her.

Yesterday I read the fourth chapter of Luke's good book. In it, the gravest enemy tempts the Great Hero, weakened by hunger, with riches, authority and splendor among other things. The Great Hero denies the temptations and goes onto his mission with power. It is later that the Great Hero is given all that he was untimely offered and more than the enemy even possessed to offer. Such story has always spoken to me about the proper timing. The Great Hero's mission would have been poisoned, thwarted and destiny destroyed by taking the offers of his enemy. In resisting, he went without these things for a time but in the end was given all and greater.

Jesus, comfort my longing soul as I wait for your timing. I don't believe in the slightest that you despise my imaginations and maybe my very romantic idea was even birthed in your heart towards me. Come and strengthen me, lest I give way in my impatience.