An interesting surprise

A friend asked me tonight how I got into cancer nursing. Twenty minutes later, I stopped talking. I freely acknowledged the parts that I hated and I just talked about the people. People whose stories I participated in. Almost every story I told ended in death, but those stories are the closest to my heart. I have said so often how much I hate nursing and it's true that I have hated most of my nursing career, let's say 95%. I was surprised to find in my stories to my friend that there were bits of joy scattered about the journey. I find joy in standing with people in their pain. I'm okay with not being able to fix it. I don't feel like a failure in faith if I don't see their earthly lives restored but their heavenly lives begun. I have worked among the suffering for many years but the past particular year of personal suffering has made a deposit of understanding and compassion. I look forward to when suffering is eliminated from the syllabus of life. I'm looking forward to heaven.